Why feedback is important

on Sep 04 in First Dates, General, Men, Women tagged by AWoodson

One social scientist that used to work at the largest online dating service was recently quoted in a newspaper interview as being frustrated with the way couples are matched by the online dating services. Although he worked on the mainframe algorithms to create the initial matches, he said that none of the online dating services incorporate feedback from the men and women who did not find love. He felt that knowing why they didn’t meet anyone special to date was important to consider if he would ever be able to hone the process to produce more accurate results. Read More

How to have a great first date

on Jul 05 in First Dates, General, Men, Women tagged by AWoodson

“The best strategy for a great first date is to go into it with the goal of simply enjoying yourself, instead of harboring an agenda to win the person over,” says Lionel Tiger, Ph.D., a Charles Darwin professor of anthropology at Rutgers University and author of The Decline of Males. “That way, you’ll also come across as tenacious and carefree, which are intrinsically attractive qualities.”

Live in the Now
If you both click when you meet, it’s tempting to leap into the future mentally — could they be The One? Stop right there and rein in your expectations or you won’t have fun.

“If you place too much importance on the encounter, you’ll spend the whole evening evaluating how it’s going and stressing about whether you’ll see the person again,” explains Sheenah Hankin, PhD, a psychotherapist in New York and author of Complete Confidence. “This prevents you from fully experiencing what’s happening in the present.” That also means you’re not as engaged — or engaging — as you could be.

Remind yourself that it’s only one evening, and then just relax and let go. “A first date is an experiment,” says Tiger. “Adopt the laissez-faire attitude that it might work out or it might not.” And, hey, even if the sparks ultimately aren’t there, the night’s not a wash. You’ll probably come away with new insight or an interesting story to add to your repertoire. And most importantly – you will have had fun and enjoyed yourself.

Good date manners

on Apr 18 in First Dates, General, Men, Women tagged by AWoodson

Demonstrating poor manners on a first date is like answering your cell phone during a job interview; you may think you’re so valuable that others should overlook your little peccadilloes, but that pile of quirks may be higher than you think — and impossible to ignore. “No matter how times change, what works in relationships remains surprisingly the same,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. “Although behaving badly seems to be a trend in movies and TV these days, rude and irresponsible behavior is deadly to relationships. Continuing to see someone who is rude, thoughtless, or narcissistic is simply asking for a relationship problem.” Read More

Happy Easter!

on Apr 04 in First Dates, General, Men, Women tagged by AWoodson

This blog is about prejudging people. Until you have met a person with a completely open heart and mind, you truly have no idea who they are or what they are about. Many people (men and women) have a list of ‘must haves’ in a potential partner. They call it having standards. This list prevents them from meeting and getting to know some truly wonderful, amazing and in many cases very attractive people. I’m not against having a list and having standards is an absolute must. Make the list – it’s important. Also be truly open minded. Don’t pass up the chance to meet a potentially great person because of details that won’t stand the test of time. And when you meet someone, keep your heart and mind truly open and alert. Happy dating!

Take your time

on Jan 20 in First Dates, General, Men, Women tagged by AWoodson

Now that you’ve gone on a date with someone, the hard part is over and now you can slip into just being a couple, right? Wrong. Every date you go on offers the unknown opportunity of a new relationship. It also offers the chance that this one isn’t the one. Many people don’t want to go through ‘finding someone’ so they try to make every person they go out with into ‘the one’. No matter how hard you try to make it work, it’s like trying to swim upstream, it’s going to be tough going and when you’re working hard to make someone fit into your idea of the right relationship – you’re not free to explore other opportunities that might be better for you. So take your time and really listen to your intuition and above all – you should be having fun!

First-Date Mistakes

on Dec 01 in First Dates, General tagged by AWoodson

Talking about too serious subjects like divorce, politics, religion or family problems. Wait til you know the person a little better and both feel comfortable discussing a subject that could get sensitive fast.

Doing all the talking. Ask your date questions and listen to what they have to say. Take turns and engage in a real verbal give and take. That’s how you’ll get to know one another. Read More

Don’t be scary

on Nov 06 in First Dates, General tagged by AWoodson

Want to scare someone away in the first few dates? Whether the person you’re dating is a man or woman say these words if you want to come on too strong too fast:
1. Baby
2. Biological clock
3. Pregnant
The only time you can bring up kids in the first few dates is if one of you already has one or if someone else’s is behaving so badly you have to leave the movie theater.

After the person is comfortable with you go ahead and talk about your nieces and nephews. Your date will know by then you’re a proud relative or caring person, not putting pressure on them to get involved and have kids quick.

Where to go?

on Oct 25 in First Dates, General, Men, Women tagged by AWoodson

Start out by doing things and going places that allow you the opportunity to get to know the person. Meet for coffee, a meal or a walk the first few dates. At the beginning there may be a few awkward silences. Use these silences as an opportunity to ask open ended questions, not questions that require only ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers. You’ll want to learn about your dates goals, dreams, life experiences and expectations. All of these things will lead to you knowing more about their attitude toward life, their values and objectives. Read More

Stop wasting your time

on Oct 20 in First Dates, General, Men, Women tagged by AWoodson

The internet has changed many things and one of those is that people now expect that matchmaking services should be free or very cheap. My on line competitors are the discount retailers of the dating world. They operate on volume. Success is possible with them, but after the monthly membership fee, hours spent on line with ‘unknowns’, and experiences ranging from comedic to catastrophic, what is the true cost of a match with potential!? Read More

You deserve the best

on Oct 18 in First Dates, General, Men, Women tagged by AWoodson

People are so busy these days that it’s plain difficult to meet someone special. For years I have heard people talking about their disillusionment with the most common approach: on line dating. I believed there needed to be an alternative.

The internet as a matchmaker is inherently flawed because it is unregulated. I firmly believe that people deserve something better… actually much better. They deserve a safe, simple, positive and affordable dating alternative… Read More